Questions and answers
These are answers from our Get consultants, Rabbi Aryeh Klapper and Dr. Rachel Levmore.
Click on the questions below to view the answer.
I am an Orthodox Jew. I married my second wife in a Reform ceremony as she could never prove that she was Jewish (but was able to satisfy the Reform rabbi at the time that she was Jewish, on her mere say so). She has absolutely no documentary evidence of being Jewish in the form of any synagogue or burial records, despite her claim to me that she was completely Jewish on her mother's side. I accepted this and we have lived a fairly observant Jewish life for the past 8 years. However, all existing records show that her maternal great-grandmother was baptised in Church as far back as 1888 and there has never been a single Jewish marriage or connection since then.
Dear Rabbi, my ex wife and I married in Israel over 17 years ago under jewish law. we moved to the US about 10 years ago and we got an official divorce by the state of california about 2 years ago. I have asked my ex wife to also do a jewish "gett" but she keeps refusing. she is willing to go to court on that. we are both stating in the US. what are my options? can I force here? we do not have any language about that in our settlement agreement even though we verbally discussed doing a gett when we negotiated the final settlement. Thanks!
My husband and I are divorced civilly. We never went through the get procedure nor did he give me one. He was married under a Huppah y a rabbi this past Sunday. Does a get require a wife's signature? I think he forged it or lied if he did say we had a get. What are the consequences if he violated these laws? We are Ashkenazi reformed, but marriage is sacred and if he lied , forged or did not give me my get what are my options.
I'm engaged to be married to a woman who is divorced. Her former husband has refused to provide a get. Moreover, he is using her requests as an excuse to draw her back into the emotional games that led to the dissolution of the marriage. I now believe it would be a mistake to for her, or anyone, to have any further contact with him regarding a get. I believe he would use such contact only as an opportunity to try to continue to manipulate her feelings and to hurt her. I am a member of a Conservative Congregation. Any ideas on how to free her from this marriage so we can get married in a wedding officiated by my Rabbi?
My ex husband and I were granted a civil divorce seven years ago. He has remarried, has a child and is living in ---. I have contacted him, the Rabbi has contacted him and he refuses to grant me a Get. He did not keep the promises within our Ketubah and abandoned our marriage in 2010. In our last conversation he stated that "he didn't see it that way" and sees no reason to give a Get since he destroyed our Ketubah. I would like to know, before I attempt to confront his new wife what else I can do to obtain a Get. We were married conservatively. He will not return any phone calls. What can I do? I am too embarrassed to return to my congregation and have not dated for the last seven years. I am lonely. --- had a vasectomy during our marriage and denied me my right to children. I am now past childbearing age and I do not want to be tied to this man and his wife and child. I would like to retire to Israel with my best friend but I can not leave until I can be divorced. What am I to do? --- is not missing. He refuses out of spite, because I asked for a divorce.
My husband & I got divorced before the chagim. It took a while & was very stressful. He brought up the get last week & I very much want one. I was told to make sure to use a reliable beth din so the get is kosher & that I will be given a peture when the get is given. I'm not real clear what a peture is even. I live in the NY area but am unfamiliar with the different beth dins. Could you recommend a reliable beth din? I'm looking forward to peace in my life. Thank you.
I am Jewish and was married to a catholic woman and subsequently divorced in 2000. We had 2 children. I am now considering marrying a Jewish woman (her mother is Jewish) who devorced her Jewish Husband 10 years ago in civil court. She subsequently married a non Jewish man who passed away 2.5 years ago. I would like to be married by a Rabbi. Does my intended need a get from her first husband? Thank you.
My girlfriend is Jewish and was raised in a Conservative home. She had four years ago been married in the courthouse to a Jewish man. According to her they both conducted a secular marriage in which the traditions were not followed. This is one reason she wants to divorce him. The other, is that the man has denied her sexual relations for over four months. Since I want her and I to be married by a Conservative rabbi after she divorces civilly, will the Conservative rabbi insist on a get even though the original marriage was civil?
I am jew from ex-Soviet Union. Married a jewish man in 1988 in civil ceremony, since that is only one was available there. Never had chuppah or Ketuba. Lived with him for 8 years, have son. We split 20 years ago and now I want to get married, but Rabbi telling me I need get. Is it possible to have a chuppah now without getting get? I have not been with my ex for 20 years, our son is grown man, there is no property or money issue involved, but my ex has a bad character and would to anything just out of spite in order not to let me move on. Please let me know if it is any way I can avoid getting get from him. Thank you for your help.
I need advice please.. I have a daughter who married a man who was discovered to be on heroin . He has been on heroin before the marriage and this was not disclosed in any case. They have a child together, she divorced her husband when the child was 6 months old. We've been to the bet din on many occasions with no progress . Is this a case which the marriage was made in error , just like the story about the bisexual case . If she had known , she would have never agreed to the marriage at all.,could this marriage be considered void? Please , she is a young single mother looking to re- marry . if there are any holocha , that you of please , please let me know . the child is now 4/years old ,so that's how long they've been divorced.. This marriage took place in America ( Sephardic). Thank you so much!
If a man gives his wife a get through a shliach...only because they do not wish to see each other....at the time of the writing of the get is it okay for the woman to be in the same neighborhood or does she have to go to another boro, like if the get is being written in brooklyn should she go to Manhattan for the duration of the writing?
Hello, I have been separated from my common law husband from a year and he refused to give me a get on grounds that he didnt have money to pay for the ketubah. I waived the ketubah and filed for the get. Shortly thereafter he was imprisoned for a felony, in another country. Even when my Rav told me I can receive my get through a sheliach, I'm really afraid to remain an agunah. What can I do to help my process? It is in South America.
Please explain, if the ketubah is a binding document, with witnesses signing that the husband made certain promises to his wife, then if he fails to fulfill those promises why doesn't that automatically result in a get al pi halacha?
Thank you for your response. Can you please explain to me what purpose the ketubah serves if the promises contained therein are unenforceable? Even not looking at the issue of divorce, what if the husband spends all his money on himself and nothing on his wife, refuses (or neglects) to sleep with her, etc.? Why have the ketubah if there is no recourse when the husband doesn't fulfill it?
My ex-husband has offered me a GET, however he is ignoring a judges decision underpaying my alimony, and so I have not accepted the GET yet. I am willing to do so once he lives up to his responsibilities. If my ex husband manages to dissolve our Jewish Marriage prior to my accepting of the GET, where does that leave me?
I'm in a relationship where I'm preparing to offer my wife a get but I expect to have an uphill battle with her accepting it. What are my options in this quite awkward situation? There won't be any custody disputes, financial support, anything, outside of pettiness, to prevent her from accepting, and as the relationship I hope to be in is outside the faith, it will not be a deterrent to me one way or the other. I truly wish to do what is best by her and the children - but will not let a document that effects her deter me.